Living as a Christian

I am happy that my blog isn't one of those intellectual ones where you have to show references. I can just type my thoughts and get them out. You know when you sing up to follow Jesus, no one tells you how weird an experience it is and what you're in for. There are some things about being a christian that will always perplex me and cause me to not only think but to seek out the truth. Knowing that I also know that I don't think there is a cut and dry answer. This is something that I love about Jesus, he said many things that are seemingly ambiguous, or could be interpreted in different ways (thus we have denominations).

Lately I have been thinking about grace. I think about this a lot. I feel I need a lot of it in my life, not only from Jesus but from my friends and relatives. I'm not a perfect man, nor will I or anyone else ever be, but I am particularly a flake sometimes. Therefore if my friends and family didn't extend grace toward me, I'd be up the river so to speak. Not to say that I am a bad person or a bad friend, I just forget stuff a lot. As far a the grace of God goes, I need that every day. Every minute, every second. I cling to it like a baby to a security blanket. If I didn't I'd be dead. I am not what you would call a "disciplined Christian". Some people are incredibly disciplined and it seems that sin doesn't get within 10 miles of them, like they got a restraining order on sin and sin is following. Me on the other hand, well that's a different story. I try to avoid it, but it finds me, and it tempts, me and it kicks my butt sometimes. I cling to God's grace, it renews me every day, every minute, every second. For this reason I don't let go of that.

Tied in with grave is Jesus' love. His love is go great that no other human experience can even come close. As a matter of fact I'd even say all of human love and experience can't rival His love for us. We just don't understand how powerful it is. If in fact his love for us is this powerful, how can we go wrong? It's like how we would love a toddler. They make mistakes (and sometimes the same ones over and over) but we still love them and try to make them better. If they aren't too fast at some aspects of self-improvement, we still love them. There are flaws in this illustration but you can get the point. Love and grace. Amazing.

Jesus also says to "sin no more". This is the paradox for me personally. How am I to sin no more? It's seemingly impossible for any human to sin no more. So grace covers our sins, but if we really loved Jesus we'd sin no more. This is the dichotomy for me. I rest in that my love for Jesus is imperfect, flawed, and above all else - human. We are not consistent creatures. We are moody, emotional, rigid, intelligent, stupid, and selfish.

So, the silver lining? The cross. Jesus took literally every sin that I've done and will yet do and suffered through death. I am a person who falls daily, and every day Jesus picks me up, every minute, every second. Above that he rose from the dead and beat death. He is alive and he is here. He is with us right here right now. He's not some energy, some distant cold-hearted impersonal God, some figment of our imaginations. He is a living being who interacts with our lives daily. Does anyone not think this is amazing? I don't see how this isn't amazing. It blows my mind every time I think about it. I thank God for it. He keeps me alive.