yet again....

I get these symptoms that doctors can't make any sense of.  It's always with my digestion tract.  This case knocked me out the last few days, which in the middle of the week seems to make the whole week void.  I went to the student health center and the doctor didn't know what it was.  She said it wasn't my appendix which is good.  I started to feel ill two days ago with an upset stomach and tired achy body.  Then last night I got a pain in my right side.  So I'm on the BRAT diet for today and maybe tomorrow.  I pray that I get better as this isn't getting worse or better.  I need to become functional again!  If I can get better tomorrow then I can work through the weekend and get back on track. 

String Quartet

I finished the first draft of my string quartet tonight.  It excites me because I haven't been in school for a while and I didn't know if I'd get back in the swing of composing under deadlines and time pressure.  I'm happy to say that this is almost the earliest time in a semester I've finished the first draft for a piece, so it looks like I'm on track.

Now about the piece.  I got this idea of expansion/contraction when I was binge and purging ideas at the beginning of my process.  I really like the idea of an idea growing and then collapsing.  So I drew a diamond (or a rhombus as my roommate said [I had forgotten what a rhombus was!]) and divided it up into vertical columns of 5x5 creating 25 smaller sections.  Each column of the diamond is separated out into larger sections by column.  So, 1 is the first section, 2 and 3 for the second sections, 4 5 6 for third, and so on.  This forms a macro form of 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1, or an arch or palindrome  (see fig.1).  At first I didn't like the idea of an exact palindrome (that is write the first half and reverse the second note-for-note and rhythm-for-rhythm).

fig. 1

This form poses problems from a compositional standpoint.  The most apparent and difficult one for me was that the way we listen to music is relational.  We hear aural relationships over time, but throughout western culture we're used to certain events happening in certain orders.  We like for a piece to build to a climax and then come down (I like it too).  Things have to be paced though.  We usually like the climax to be at or near the end.  According to this form the climax would have to be in block-13, the direct middle because anything before or after is to be repeated even if it's an abstract repetition (at this point I didn't know if the second half would be a literal palindrome or just essence).  Either way, 13 is the middle and thus the only unique micro-block not to be repeated.

So my initial thought was to have the beginning (blocks 1-3) be quiet and only contain one or two notes.  A single note to start, fig.2, (D because it was the central note when when stacking the open strings of all the quartet, C G D A (vla, cel) and G D A E (vln) so C G D A E, with D in the middle) that will eventually glissando into two, D and E, fig.3.  Eventually C# above enters and we have a nice little three note chord that contains the intervals that I love, M2, M7.

fig.2

fig.3

This is all nice and well and ended up taking much more time than I thought, this is a good thing though.  It lets the beginning breathe and have space.  This is what it needed and it is what I gave it.  So after four phrases of slow building intensity we get to column 4 (blocks 7-10).  This is where I had no clue what to do.  This is an intermediate section before the big crazy column 5 but more active than the opening 4 phrases (first three minutes).  It needed to be active but not to intense.  I for some reason wanted a "doppler" type effect.  So I thought it might be time to have them align in a tempo (so far it's been free of that) and play with some dynamics.  In fig.4, the details of the transition are still to be worked out (going from ametrical to "metered" where is eighth note=120) but the dynamics shifting will shape the sound to be moving yet static. 

fig.4

The measure that says 1:40 above it is where I start a number process between all the players.  They are repeating a measure 4 times and then moving on, but each measure has a different amount of notes.  It is based on a number sequence permutated.  In the cello look at the numbers below the staff, 8 7 6 5, and in the violin I, 5 6 7 8.  The inner parts are scrambled (vln II 6 5 8 7 and vla 7 8 5 6).  The number sequence is then reversed back to the start, ex. vln I, 5 6 7 8 8 7 6 5.  I think this process worked out very nicely.

The next section is column 5 where there is the most action and intensity.  If you know anything about my compositional style, you'll know this is a perpetual problem with me.  I have a hard time composing "virtuostic" or bombastic sounds.  In this draft I kept everthing spatial and abolished bar lines.  I'll probably notate this section accurately and I think there will be a lot of specific rhytmic interplay between parts.  Fig.5 is the beginning of this section that I think can stay proportional, but the rhythms get increasingly more accurate later on.

fig.5

The main bulk of the fragments in this next section are built off this 8-note sequence (seen in vln I, D# D, A, G#, A#, C#, G, F) or the opening tri-chord (D, E, C#).  This section breaks up into smaller 2-3-4-5 note chunks of notes intermixed with plucks and strums of muted strings.  It should sound chunky and strident.  This intensity gives way though to block-13 which is the mid-point and the only non-repeated block.  I wanted the climax to be calm, understated, and a contrast the the material being worked out in sections 4 and 5.

fig.6

In fig. 7, notice that the fragments now will have holds of notes after them, to make a seam or constant notes or chords.  The notes sustained form C# D# G G#, which is the tetrachord that most of the pitch material is based on.

fig.7

It's getting late here, so I'll have to post the rest of the piece-in-progress tomorrow or at a later time.  I know this is a cliff-hanger for all of you!  I like doing this, it helps me to flesh out what I'm doing in words and it's a public forum so I can get some feedback maybe.

black coffee and cockroach!

This morning was a weird one.  First I'd like to say that I've finally given into drinking black coffee.  I suppose it's bound to happen to any coffee drinker.  I like it better (with a little sugar) than with all the creamers.  The exception is pumpkin spice, which is in season (does artificial flavoring really have a season?) right now so I shall partake in that.

This picture is tricky though because lurking behind that seemingly innocent coffee apparatus is (was) an infestation of cockroaches!  We had them pretty pretty bad (in larry david's voice) for a while until last week I bought COMBAT!® which baits them into taking some poison back to their lair and sharing it with their friends over a game of cards until they all die.  It's been much better since except this morning....

....when I came out of the shower to see this little monster!  Just sitting on a pair of pants in my room.  So naturally I took a pic to document it and then I got out a sandal and hit it and flushed it down to toilet!  Welcome to Texas.

how big god is

I was walking to church yesterday and lately it's been really rainy here in Texas.  This was something I was not expecting and to be honest wasn't too thrilled about.  But this last rain wasn't too bad as it came in really hard fits for less than half an hour, then complete sunniness.  That was on Friday, by Sunday it was just overcast with some misting. 

I was thinking about sin and how I've lately let it become more of a focus to me than God.  I think we all go through times like this.  It's exactly what the Evil One wants us to believe, that our sins are so bad that God won't forgive them. This is a boldface lie (to quote GOB)!  But still it doesn't seem to be true to our human sensibilities, we can't comprehend that kind of forgiveness.

Here's the picture I saw walking to church-

a single drop of water lazily falling into a small puddle the size of a square of sidewalk.  it was one of those spots in a sidewalk where the concrete has disappeared or somehow dig deeper into the earth.  it was overtaken by water in a small square maybe 2.5 x 2.5 feet.  this drop of water hit the surface and a 3d wave spread out beyond the center.  i think of this as a drop of sin in the entire sin of my life.  imagine how many drops of water are in that puddle.  a whole lifetime (at least 28 years) of sinning and i just added one more drop.  at first it ripples and disturbs the surface but after a few seconds it's all still again.  now imagine this, taking that water in the pond and dropping it in the middle of the pacific ocean.  would it even be traceable?  would it even disturb even one single small wave?  God is bigger than that ocean.  we can't even imagine how big it is.  God is big, my sin is small.  why do I let it get in the way of all that?

The Magician, and my diet stinks

So this week was the most stressful of this semester, which isn't saying much because in the grad scheme it really wasn't that big of a deal or test.  We had a concert Monday, (see previous post) which went well but was time consuming.  Then on Thursday I had a presentation on Serialism, with a parter, for 80 minutes.  I took the first 40 with cramming the history of the 2nd Viennese School through Boulez.  In 40 minutes I went about 30 years.  My partner Gabi (a flautist from Brazil) took Babbitt and played some excerpts from him and spoke more.  It went well I think.  It really wasn't that 'hard', but it was my first kind of test here and I didn't want to look bad or flunk it, so in that respect it was a big deal.  It was good.  I also met with a string quartet for them to read through what I have so far in my piece.  It went well but was some work to get it all ready for them.  I've since them re-notated what I've got which is about 2 minutes of music.  I'm meeting with them on Tuesday for another half hour which will be a really good time for me.  On top of all that I went to two improv session (wed. night with some other DMA composers, thurs. at the dance dept. at TWU [Texas Women's University]).  It was fun, then after I went to Scott's (a fellow DMA composer, who also went to BGSU a year ahead of me, so I know him) with Ben (another DMA composer) and had a beer with some really really cheap pizza.  I woke up friday literally thinking it was Saturday.

I'm reading this book "The Magicians" which my friend Megan sent me.  I'm through the first half and I really like most all of it, except some out of context language that I think is not becoming.  I am excited to dive into the second half  Megan has this idea that when she finished a book to send it to another person my mail.  I like this idea, like a book share program.  Rather than reading and putting on shelf till you move and decide to throw it out, give it some use to someone else.  This could be a good idea!

I think my poor diet is catching up with me.  My stomach is upset most all the time and I think my body is literally rejecting much of the food on a regular basis.  I need to eat better!  Someone help me!!!  I don't know how to cook or really take care of myself in the food realm.  Help me!!!!